Matrimony steps the 7th year, often can enter listless period, both sides is opposite no longer each other are full have intense emotion, before " your Nong Wonong also can turn into subsequently " stumble, cat-and-dog " .
Since quarrel,be the indispensable one part in life of husband and wife, both sides of male and female needs sensible look upon issue, dissolve contradiction, absorb experience of lesson, summary, such ability make quarrel the effect that produces flavor enhancement, then is promotional feeling, harmonious marriage.
Common saying says " the head of a bed of husband and wife fights bed and " , the right way after quarrelling is to want to decide confused to stop as soon as possible certainly contend for, the response is calm.
So inevitable be about to the individual places small gesture to lower his head first, apologize first.
Who after quarrelling, apologizes first?
And normally we can feel: Who be of course wrong whose this apology, whose overdo who should lower whose head first.
But reality is however, two people after contradiction, their idea agrees exceptionally: Feeling is err of the other side, it is the other side very beyond the mark, oneself very grievance.
So who comes first?
What should make clear above all is: Either who became wrong who is about to lower whose head actively, however whose demand is bigger who can lower his head actively first.
Say simply even if, if you care about Ta to care about you than Ta much, then you apologize actively first with respect to need. Sound very pitiful, but do not have method. Demand is bigger, the mood can be jumped over intense. The sentiment is stronger, afflictive degree can be jumped over tall. The person is more afflictive, dominate oneself action with reason hard more.
This resembles is two very hungry people, they agree who is moved first before that steamed bread, who does move to be defeated first. In psychokinesis equal below the circumstance, it is hungrier that individual cannot help first normally. Two people can be together, psychokinesis level is about the same. That individual with psychokinesis otherwise taller significance, early make a meteoric rise gallop and went.
Want to be clear about next, it is face after all more important, it is more important to still concern?
If the other side can not plan past grudge fools you actively, natural and best. But in Ta not changeable premise falls, those who remain is your choice. So right for you, face and relation, you more want that. Whether do you compare Ta more cannot leave a concern?
Do not think oneself very drag so that also can leave. To the attaching of the relation, not be grain property decision. Your feeling is such, your psychokinesis, bear ability, these are not rational decisions, be natural presence.
Should not blame oneself more why so care about him. In the relation, you compare him more care about a relation, it seems that you are like very pitiful, more the position that is in passivity, weaker force.
Actually otherwise, you are in the relation attaching is deeper, this is meant in same paragraph in the relation, the contented move that you acquire than him wants a lot of more, it is him actually so very pitiful.
Contented sense is more, cannot leave the more. Become you so first active when, you should know at the moment lower one's head, because get before you,be too much.
Lower his head first, after the viewpoint of value that apologizes first wanted to be clear about, should talk about methodology so, how to apologize to just can achieve established goal after all, make the other side is accepted, and achieve husband and wife Where is purpose of harmonious and promotional emotive?
The apologetic skill after husband and wife quarrels
One, if be " persnickety " should apologize immediately, if be " atmosphere " should apologize a few days again too. "Persnickety " if do not apologize immediately, light carries a coffin on stout poles with the madam, cause bigger conflict easily, do petty thing big honest not be to one's profit. But " atmosphere " different, "Atmosphere " the apology on your horse is trashy also, the madam's gas temporarily very hard pass the time in a leisurely way goes down, get as the spirit pass the time in a leisurely way that has waited for a madam a few days about the same apologize again.
2, if consider an apology, be about to place a pair of manner that apologizes anything but first. You apologize every day, apologize easily, the apology is cheap also, oneself had not apologized, the madam knows you wanted to apologize, uninteresting. Be inferior to first keep calm, let her think you are plan stubbornly resist after all, next you admit your mistake accidentally to her again, let her think this is the achievement that struggles difficultly to come, case other place is glad, the apology also succeeded.
3, should apologize explicitly sometimes, want to apologize with allusive method sometimes. Affray frequency although how many does not likely have, but cannot sustain accumulate over a long period, apologetic time is much, be about to notice formal diversification. Open a fun sometimes, come speak, ego sneers at one time, the meaning the apology delivers the past delicately, the madam changes state of mind, understood your meaning, understood than saying the word the effect is better instead.
4, should absolutely refuse to to apologize on certain problem, stubborn after all. The madam needs you to apologize, it is to want to prove your love to her with this kind of method, prove she can control you, but in the final analysis she does not hope you resemble only small sheep really, hope you are a right man however, so you must hold to a principle on some things, do not apologize absolutely.
If quarrel hind, both sides is not communicated, do not communicate, do not include, do not show sympathy, not sober, do not sum up, do not draw a lesson, this a series of wrong way, not only won't make quarrel the effect that has intercessory marriage, and can create more serious follow-up problem, cause marital rupture finally even.
8 kinds of no-no behavior after husband and wife quarrels
1
Each other checks privacy of the other side
This is husband and wife after quarrelling sensible least of all, also be a kind of the grimmest act. Both sides of husband and wife solemned the spy that conceal is beside the other side, check square property has unidentified whereaboutldirection, the chatting record in consulting the short message in mobile phone of the other side, small letter and computer has ambiguous content, the intent discovers the other side and association of what opposite sex, have minatory marriage to bring about affray alluring woman, discharge the track that consults each other even, where to have been to, go with who, whats to do, do I am sorry oneself and the thing that betray a family, etc.
Spoken parts in an opera, this suspects everything genuinely namely, it is the distrust to the other side. The other side was not aware of not bad, once be captured by get behind of the other side clues, discover you are in peek he (her) , proper pride can suffer fully destroy, the avoid to you is hated and distrust can be deepened unexpectedly. And the key that trusts just is marital success or failure.
2
Incessant cold war
After husband and wife quarrels, you pay no attention to me, I pay no attention to you, you dig your trench, I repair my blockhouse, you are taken strict precautions against, my defend to the last, you watch your TV, I play my mobile phone, you eat your noodle, I drink my congee, you sleep your bed, I lie my sofa, fall in an eave together, be like,we meet Philistine.
Actually, after husband and wife quarrels, most metropolis produces cold war. , have a plenty of a few hours, some meetings are a few days, some 10 days half month, some does not have an edge to do not have an edge to be like,grow however marathon. Depth of the accident of cold war time is associated emotive of husband and wife, cold war time is shorter, love of husband and wife is deeper, cold war time is longer, feeling of husband and wife is weaker.
Usually, cold war does not exceed 3 days, won't damage feeling of husband and wife, once cold war exceeds 10 days, with respect to feeling of husband and wife of can serious injury, deepen the other side to suspicious and be hated to yours.
3
Blindly demonstrate and provoke
When husband and wife quarrels, both sides thinks he is a victim, deflagrating in the abdomen all round fire of unhealthy environmental influences that cause disease, should abreact from time to time come out. When quarrelling, abreacting is best.
But discharge of the reappearance after quarrelling, especially day of in succession number abreacts continuously, throw the door for instance, throw bowl dish, break furniture, conversation is raucous atmosphere, leng Yanbing language, ancestral grave of dig of mutual show up one's fault, from time to time satirize is satiric, evict the other side from the bedroom, do not let take a door, push or contact of other chilly limbs, wait a moment to the indifference of changes in temperature of back and belly of the other side even, the metropolis is different level land is exasperate the other side, cause contradiction to upgrade, decrescent makes a noise to be troubled by greatly, become malcontent to be harm.
One did not make the same score a recrudesce, love of again deep husband and wife, also can be used up to danger by this kind of incessant brawl.
4
Take the child to should give inflator
After some husband and wife quarrel, innocent child became an inflator of one hundred percent. The wife thinks the child is husband kind, drag in of natural to the resentment of husband meeting arrives the child; The man thinks the child is the flesh that falls down on feminine body, she does not feel distressed I won't feel distressed more.
Then, the child became hungry seek mother, mom pushs: "Look for you dead father goes! " another foot kick back comes to father: "Look for your cheap Mom! " a little unfortunate child, still can be brought to bear on by the parents below choler the suffering of flesh, became the scapegoat of parental vent one's anger. The tear of child abasement and helpless wail cry, meet virtually accentuation husband and wife again bilateral anger, make quarrel to upgrade ceaselessly, evolve into domestic force even.
On May 7, henan saves Pu Yang city to quarrel to husband and wife, throw a pair of young man and woman into the be addicted to in the river to die unexpectedly, let indeed common people is astonished and aching. Little imagine, the child is the bridge with maintain feeling of husband and wife the mainest and ligament, once the child is harmed, the bridge was broken, can marriage still go much further?
5
Treat tripartite as help straw
In the husband and wife that often quarrels, many women were become accordingly complain Fu, many men became bitter husband accordingly, husband and wife is bilateral everybody is willing to solve what form because of quarrelling to complain a knot in one's heart actively, look for parents to pour out, look for a friend to pour out, look for a colleague to pour out, the netizen that searchs to never seek a range pours out, hope from find over there them comfort, sympathize with, understanding, it is feeling is placed even, the strength that expects others of have the aid of dissolves the conflict between husband and wife.
Actually otherwise, the person that have a hand in is more, the burden in another heart is heavier, go against instead psychology is stronger, resentment is bigger, resentment and distrust can be deepened ceaselessly, harm its proper pride and face badly.
More terrible is, when husband and wife bitter water of any dump of one direction opposite sex when, possible wife is chatting to talking about Gong Xing to give a wall, husband is imperceptible went up the bed of other woman. And off the rails itself has extremely strong power to marriage.
6
Buy gas lives apart
After one part husband and wife quarrels, under one anger, both sides of male and female returns each home each, each look for each Mom, perhaps be the same as room live apart, just perhaps stay behind, other one party moves unit dormitory to go simply, have the manner of some of old dead not identical bed. The husband and wife with deep love is bilateral two ground live apart long, produce such and such accident still likely, prep let alone is full of the husband and wife of resentment each other.
Live apart time is longer, the resentment between husband and wife is bigger, jealousy is deeper. Live apart momently or the license comes down with making both sides of husband and wife sober, those who miss opposite party is good, perhaps let an active give the impression of weakness, husband and wife restores good relations, but should have held to spend.
Usually, the buy gas of half month less than lives apart, won't affect feeling of husband and wife, but the buy gas of above of a month lives apart, with respect to feeling of husband and wife of can serious contusion, and the time that live apart is longer, the time that live apart is more, taller to minatory coefficient of marriage. Want to quarrel to do the husband and wife that live apart only especially, the probability of reunion of husband and wife after an enforced separation or rupture will be lower and lower.
7
Do sth in a fit of pique runs away from home to play repeatedly break couplet
After partial husband and wife quarrels, feminine do sth in a fit of pique runs away from home play the probability that breaks couplet to want to compare a man a lot of taller, below the premise that there is the youngest son in the home especially.
A female netizen that once counted second do sth in a fit of pique to leave home tells me, actually she also cannot bear the heart casts next children, also be in momently caring the child, but the face that sees husband iciness, hear husband cheek gas to incite the fleer like awl, can be utterly disheartened, must bear painful give up what one favours; She says so do, want to retaliate husband namely, teach him a lesson well, those who let him experience experience to do mom is tired, be an upright person wife painstaking; Once run away from home, break couplet simply, the phone is not received, short message small letter is not answered, try to threaten the other side, explore the other side still has love to oneself, if love, can keep contacting, if love do not have even rarely, nature of telephone short message won't have, or little pity.
Dan Xiaofu thinks, paltrily of this kind of practice, be in risk danger in desperation, not only the settlement that goes against a problem, return the anguish of both sides of husband and wife of accentuation of can different level.
And the young husband and wife to still doing not have the child, play for long break couplet, play time and again break couplet, the jealousy of the other side of meeting virtually accentuation, suspect you had others outside, threw away from now on accredit, strengthened guard. Resemble preventing a thief preventing another euqally when one party, divorce namely the thing of morning and evening.
8
Do not live sexual life for long
Old people often says: Young husband and wife quarrels not bear grudges, the head of a bed quarrels bed end and. Those who say is a gender reconcile. Before the men and women is single, arrive by love quality, it is the sublimate of love; After marriage of male and female, perfect sexual love is OK and promotional feeling of husband and wife, 4 ejaculation sexual love can dissolve a passion all contradiction between husband and wife.
Contrary, reject a gender, reject to love namely. After husband and wife quarrels, won't living sexual life immediately is unavoidable, because of bilateral heart in hold back is worn posse fire, very accurate, since accurate, loath or make love to won't have simple change forcibly, want to await an opportunity, create an opportunity.
After some husband and wife quarrel, in succession counts day not to live sexual life, even make love should make the instrument that coerces the other side to surrender, cannot take extremely. As time passes, husband can lose sexual interest to wife slowly, wife can become to husband frigidity. And what cannot expect more is, husband may go course accordingly, wife may go a wall because of this Gong Xing. The marriage that does not have sexual love is terrible.
Finally, still be that word, marriage is the collective choice of vivid means of two people opposite, each one does his job square can each is in his proper place.
