In actual life, a kind of person cries " a benign and uncontentious person who is indifferent to matters of principle " , this kind of person is amiable normally honest and kind, disposition is tender, avoid the ground to offend another person as far as possible, when because this has a thing when other,him need helps, also won't refuse, it is to do not have principle ground to provide a help even.
Will tell from psychology, actually such " a benign and uncontentious person who is indifferent to matters of principle " a bit " flattery character " deflection.
So called " flattery character " , those who point to is party special be good at please another person, in other eye, party is very the person that is happy to help a person, look for its to help, won't be rejected. And to party, actually TA is met very go hard maintaining concern with the harmony between other, when doing a business, often also can consider the feeling of other first, aux would rather self-abnegation, also not be willing to say " not " .Short-term and such, that is really OK from which benefit, for instance harmonious human relationship, the friendly evaluation of other is waited a moment, but long-term and such, party also can feel pressure actually, need to pay more price for this even.
Accordingly, the society refuses is a crucial issue.
1.Learn proud self-love self-confidence, establish oneself principle bottom line.Each person should have his bottom line principle, termless go helping another person, win occasionally those who come not be other not only " thank " , still may be other " manage place ought to " . Also want to learn to know the demand of own heart and think of a way at the same time, is not patronage is worn consideration other, those who forgot oneself are one has demand as much is individual. Everybody needs to be satisfied somewhat, ability psychology is balanced, health develops.
2.When facing the demand with overbearing and unjustifiable other, want neither haughty nor humble, refuse directly.When other wants you to do some business, not be modest request help, however authoritative, unjustifiable, so face this kind of situation, want to be brave in to refuse, say directly for instance: "Feel embarrassed, I am very busy " , "Feel sorry, the help that I consider to you need to ask another person " etc. Reject such person, do not need to feel embarrassed, because the other side also does not have ground of very good meaning,will let you help.
3.When facing the demand with polite and polite other people, want euphemistic refus absolutely.When the help that others requests him courteously, also do not feel other people is polite, we must be helped courteously. What we need to do is, looked to whether exceed oneself bottom line range, whether to violate oneself principle, if be, so want politely to reject the other side: "Feel embarrassed, I am afraid so that see me first here whether can smoke reach time comes, convenient give you this help " , letting the other side know you is not willful really refusal, endeavored hard however, do not have method to help. Such unapt also make each other awkward.
4.When facing the issue that oneself accomplish hard, want courtesy to refuse.When other request your help is when the thing besides your capacity limits, what you should do is courteous ground refuses: "Thank you very much can have a good opinion of I, it is this one thing that says to you only, because my individual ability is limited, sortie this limits is not deep, fail to help you so " . So courteous reply other, can not arouse another person " malcontent " , after all the mastery of a skill or technique that everybody is good at is different.
Altogether, the society refuses, the society says " not " , the ground on real significance goes to ability standing in equal height with other, ability does not make him too humble. And use appropriate rejection means, not regular also meeting arouses the baleful opinion of other, if be this kind of person, drop such friend less.
Above. Wish the life is happy!
Above content is [Zheng Yanyun of daily confabulate · ] achieve formerly, reprint ask connection.
