In amative initial stage, a large number of excretive are much cling to amine can let passion is full of between two people, bring halo effect to the lover.
Below halo effect, everything the lover's appears very perfect, even if be defect,also become so not important. Love me extremely figure ground described this kind of state of mind: I love you, everything your is very so beautiful very good, I can be accepted.
But, much cling to the exudation of amine is met as be familiar with with each passing day between two people, new move decreases and decrease accordingly, halo effect also is met slowly abate disappear even.
Did not have halo add hold, the lover is the existence that drunk god of that your popular feeling confuses when be passionately in love no longer. They from " god " degradation is " person " , we begin to see the weakness on their body clearly. At this moment because defect did not have the cover of halo, appear especially marked. And, we are to the lover's anticipation originally very the person that agrees with us, but as get along with the passing of time, attrition and contradictory and affirmative meeting arise, anticipate at this moment come to nothing the disappointed mood of generation also can let this defect become more dazzling.
At this moment, love just picked unconscious eye cloth of passion, entered materiality phase, at the moment that individual that we see, just be relatively actual existence. Many amour can begin occurrence problem in this phase, if two people carelessly understand one another, adjust, the relation moves toward fall to pieces likely, both sides is taking disappointment to leave angrily even, feel oneself were cheated by the other side. But actually, saying with its is the other side cheated him (when just beginning to get along, person really the action that hard to avoid has sedulous ego beautification) , be inferior to saying is passion lets our be most willing to indulge in good idolum.
So, if want two people to get along for a long time,go down, both sides should understand and admit afore-mentioned facts, holding original illusion and feeling in the arms to ask all the time oneself lover, and should understand, even if the other side is male god, goddess no longer, it is as much be worth us to go the person with understanding, care, serious love.
What be willing to admit the other side when us is faulty, adjust jointly, when the photograph prescription formula that finds both sides to be able to be accepted hard together, love can enter a new level: It perhaps does not make a person so ecstatically, warmer however, certainly, meaningful, also can give a person bigger safe move.
Author brief introduction: Cao Huaining, 2 class psychology refers the country master, advisory practice exceeds 1000 hours, advocate domain of arrogate to oneself includes marriage amour concern of program of feeling, human association, bisexual psychology, life, family. Since small gain of enlightened 2011 sina, vermicelli made from bean starch more than 60000 people, hold to letter of fixed return illicit, altruistic the person that appeal for nearly 6000 is offerred seek advice, seek advice solve exceed ten million word. " marriage and family " expert of magazine specially invite, autograph of much home media briefs a contributor. The individual that welcomes to pay close attention to me from media (small gain of date of small letter public, sina, know, a date) .
