There is a snail in the forest, it always is very self-abased, feel oneself do not have what good qualities, other animal also look down upon it. As time passes, it closes itself rise, do not contact with the outside. One day, perhaps want to issue rainstorm in the evening afternoon probably, the earthworm is gotten out from slimy ground tell other the animal, call them to clutch ready-made. Did not tell snail alone only however, because natural snail does not have ready-made and be done black and bluely by rainstorm.
Think carefully, there is one part person in the life, be also with snail? Because they are self-abased, estrange gradually with the person all round, even with the person all round " completely cut off " . Although do not resemble the snail in the story certainly, let him body get very great harm, but because with beside the person's segregation, and missed a lot of opportunities. This is one of self-abased harms. Of course, self-abased the harm that still has other. For instance: It lets us be in self-abased vicious circle, become flimsier and flimsier; It lets us obtain the nutrition with openly positive perhaps feedback hard; It also lets us become not self-confident, experience without the negative psychology such as safe feeling and weak feeling.
So, how should be we overcome self-abased this kind of mood?
Guy. Dr. Wen Ji is in his " mood emergency treatment " in this book, gave us a few solve. Below, I introduce according to the content in book of Dr. Wen Ji, if why handle self-abased mood?
The first: Ego sympathizes with
What is ego sympathizes with? Simple for happen when a few bad things namely when, we need to adopt a few kind, more helpful manners to treat his, is not right oneself execute psychology to mistreat. Specific exercise is as follows:
1. draws up one lets the inactive affection experience such as him failure, awkward, humiliate, and be described specific details and experience.
2. imagines this kind of thing happening is on others body, what kind of feeling can they have?
You meet 3. how comfort the other side, how to offer mix at the same time support?
4. describes him again the feeling to this matter, but the attention wants objective judge and not be to censure with inactive judge.
The 2nd: Search and affirm oneself good qualities
Everybody has his good qualities and fault, and the good qualities that self-abased person often can see him weakness only and ignores oneself. So how can we just find our advantage? Specific exercise is as follows.
1. seeks a piece of paper, write down you to think him good qualities or the success that you gain, had jumped over more more.
If 2. is pondering over the 1st problem when, you appeared negative opinion, write them on the 2nd piece of paper.
3. chooses a kind on the first piece of paper idiosyncratic, write an essay or paragraph, explain why, and draw up you hope it is right your positive effect.
4. is in the following day, one kind chooses on the first piece of paper idiosyncratic, if the 3rd pace has a practice in that way.
The 3rd: Admit a praise
When you are self-abased, it is others to be praised to yours, you are likely also and screwy mock to yours into others. Accordingly, we need those who promote pair of praises to include. Specific exercise is as follows.
1. is described the person is praised to yours beside you, explain why the other side will be right you make positive assessment.
Are this kind of character and behavior opposite 2. what do you mean?
Does the human impact of this kind of character and act to you have 3. what advantage?
Do 4. this character or behavior still have other to your life what help?
The 4th: Ego promotion
Come from some kind of meaning say, one individual force is more powerful, he can become more self-confident. Accordingly, want out low, among them very important is you have very strong dominant position really in some respect. Perhaps, you are done not have now, but did not concern. Because can be fostered slowly. Specific exercise is as follows:
1. collects information and strategic program (have feasibility)
2. practice, patience and perseverance
Have a cause, have a program, return so that want to carry out, just carried out insufficient still, hold on ceaselessly even, otherwise again good plan no point.
The 5th: Self-discipline
The last few years, extraordinary popularity a word -- self-discipline. Change character, accuse force oneself. How can you just let oneself become so control oneself?
1. should practice everyday. Be in " habitual force " in this book, our everybody everyday major action is habitual guiding actually. Accordingly, regard certain thing as when us when the habit, we need to control our painstakingly far from, the action that still can follow oneself goes.
The energy with enough 2. . In the life, we can be experienced apparently a bit, when we became hungry, we accuse force to be able to drop to our palm, accordingly, we need enough energy.
3. avoids temptation. For instance: Your target is to reduce weight. Then you go less the cate shop on the street turns, or in the home put a few snacks less as far as possible.
Above is the proposal that Dr. Wen Ji gives us. Although these methodological may not suit everybody, but gave people a kind of way that solves a problem at least, and likely the problem that these methods can solve us. If was solved really, no matter be,then to author or ourselves is a kind lucky. If insoluble, we also do not want blame god and man, going solving a problem hard just is the thing that we should do.
Overcome self-abased it is a slow process, on one hand we should carry out these methods hard, additional on one hand, we also want to be mixed to our enough time, understanding include. After all, the generation of self-abased mood is complex, changeful, accordingly, the self-abased mood that we want to face up to our, admit oneself, also want hard to overcome this kind of sentiment at the same time.
, END,
Remarks: The picture comes from a network, invade cutout.
