Xiaoqiao is 80 hind treasure Mom, at ordinary times the life is not to buy food, bring child namely, peremptory housewife. Her son already 5 years old, go up nursery school the top class in a kindergarten. Xiaoqiao is very doting son, it is to be contained in the mouth to be afraid of really changed, grasp be afraid of in the hand broke. From clad have a meal basic necessities of life, xiaoqiao " monopolize " the son's life. What should the son do at ordinary times, get to her ask for instructions. But, xiaoqiao's son went up madly recently annulus slippery, xiaoqiao fears he he gets hurt, do not let him play stoutly, even annulus slippery shoe hid. The life of at present child remains study only. Small Qiao Ceng says to me, the son is her life, her meeting bend does his best to the son best.
We must admit, every mother special the child that is very fond of oneself. But resemble Xiaoqiao such means that bring child, correct really?
1. " monopolize " everything the child's.
A lot of parents resemble same " monopolize " everything the child's, always think the child is small still, the child should live below parental assistant, bear everything what parents gives him. Then, small to clad have a meal, arrive greatly basic necessities of life, parents contracted, such practice, look be like be very fond of actually overbearing.
2. operates with his viewpoint of value the child.
A lot of parents always say to the child: The route that the salt that I had eaten has taken than you is much. Yes, consider the age, by qualifications and record of service, the parent is far outclass child, but a lot of parents operate always however with his viewpoint of value the child, hope child can give the look that he hopes alive, and with a pair I am good for you attitude pose as, such practice is " strong pattern " main show of education.
3. does not permit the child the contact is other the interest interest that has nothing to do with study.
A lot of parents hope children will have a bright future, look at female Cheng Feng, signed up for a lot of interest classes to the child, coach class, the child wants to use when time loosens him on the weekend, the parent shakes however had a head. They do not allow the interest interest that child contact and study have nothing to do, even if with will loosen oneself to also be no good. The parent thinks to be done so is to be between billow take time, but be in aeriform in, the health of body and mind that affected the child however develops.
4. parent ignores the child's idea and opinion.
Strong pattern takes the parent of child, compare normally absolute, although the child had his idea and opinion, the parent also can be disregarded likely. The parent always thinks he is small wind child, whats do not understand. In the domestic atmosphere with this kind of absolute depression, the child's disposition also can become cowardly gradually.
So, below this kind of circumstance, what kind ofly can be the child's heart affected again?
1.Disposition is timid, not talktive.
When always teach the child when parents with this kind of manner, the child can become tacitter and tacitter, disposition is timid, dare not speak out oneself opinion and position, always depressing a heart.
2. is very traitorous.
Small when, parents uses this kind of strong pattern to teach means to oppress the child, the child has affliction talk. After be brought up, inner dissatisfaction is more and more serious, time is long, of the child microcosmic can erupt, the arrangement of disobedient parents, bunt even parents, this is constant some thing.
3. does not have definite idea.
Becoming father and mother always is " monopolize " the child's life, the child can lose the ability that judges thing dispute, when grown adult is faced with the child life is great when choice, often lose a position, do not know what course to follow, be immersed in contradictory kink in.
4. child disposition can become more and more extreme.
The child lives for a long time in the domestic atmosphere of absolute depression, disposition can become more and more extreme, want to go after oneself be fond of on one hand, be being depressed again on the other hand, the demand of child heart gets satisfaction hard, disposition can become more and more extreme.
When parental change angle, when love child place loves, what kind of change can the child's psychology produce again?
1. turns into by the depression optimistic.
The love of the heart that becomes oneself is affirmed by parents, when when his interest the hobby is accepted by parents, the child's heart can become very optimistic, by shade fair, also meet with greater efforts, hope to pass on parents with this.
2. child becomes be happy to be shared with parents.
When child discovery, when parents is sure his mind is loved truly, the child can be happy to share his one's innermost thoughts and feelings with parents, the relation of parents and child also is met more and more harmonious.
3. child disposition can become more sunshine is hopeful.
Get father and mother when the child when supporting energetically, they can increase full horse power, whole situation is devoted. Accordingly, the child is in when facing a lot of difficulty, total meeting is faced with the state of mind with hopeful sunshine, because love does armature, the child can become more firm and brave.
But, because lack dispute to be watched to the fault, the thing that the child likes to oneself cannot be accomplished prudential to the fault, allow easy go astray. The parent dotes on to child place " bastard " , a kind of what kind of attitude should support again?
1. is encouraged more, little scold.
Anyhow, the objective presence is constant acting channel between the parent and child, as a result of the difference of the age, what accept the difference of culture, seeing a person see content side, aesthetic respect differs somewhat necessarily. When the thing that dotes on place when the child shows the parent, the parent should be encouraged more, little scold, with he is being waited for in light of a kind of distinctive perspective, with the child a health grows.
2. understands this actively " bastard " .
When having, because he does not understand,the parent often is met, and the thing that dotes on to child place produces bias, both sides always can produce contradiction. Had when the child so called " bastard " when, the parent should understand it actively, pass consult data, him augment intellectual face, when be being communicated with the child, oneself are unapt also can say nothing.
3. is used " bastard " the interest specialty that will develop the child.
So called specialty, it is to build actually on child interest, had when the child so called " bastard " when, the parent mights as well the interest strong point that uses it to discover the child, try to guide, make of the child grow more rapid, intellectual face also is met more broad.
Economy is growing, the times is varying, tremendous age difference exists between parents and child, accordingly, seeing a person see content side, bilateral conference existence is a lot of and different. The parent should change a perspective, also should try to open oneself horizon, watch the child to like with additionally one kind of perspective " bastard " , with child united front. Love his place love, refuse " strong issue " raise child, the choice accompanies type education, such, the child's body and mind just is met more healthy.
Interactive now topic: When you are raising child, can you also use the educational means of this kind of strong pattern? Does your approve of teach way this kind? Welcome and discuss.
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In Yo in the process, if everybody encounters insoluble problem to be able to look for me, hope my a few knowledge and experience can give you significant proposal. Care child, pay close attention to the child grow, it is every parent cannot the thing of oversight.
