Little beautiful love takes candy, always take the advantage of pa Mom carelessly oneself take candy to eat from inside candy box secretly, mom saw say aloud: "Small beauty does not take candy, eat polysaccharide bad to the tooth. " who knows mom not to say not bad, say to gave small beauty to carry however instead wake, she drives grip to rise to fill in panocha in the mouth, the color with the complacent dew that return a face looks at mom.
If say small beauty returns be individual behavior habit only to correct a problem, na Xiaoming's problem involves person security. Xiaoming of 4 years old fell in love with the game in driveway angle suddenly recently, cross a street twice this, he can flounce off parental hand suddenly, next apace runs over. Parent big Jing, chase after at the back rapidly, xiaoming sees somebody is chased after play more happily, still burst out laughing.
Parents because this is special rebuke Xiaoming, it is very dangerous to point out such doing, he speaks plausibly and at length however the ground expresses: "Want you to overtake me only, I did not run. " Xiaoming's mom speaks of this thing, feel very intractable, blindly indulgent affirmation is no good, but the parent starts to talk, the child with respect to make trouble, often point to east dozen on the west, act in a way that defeats one's purpose. You do not let him what do more, he should be done more, seem to be mixed on purpose parental oppose, is this how to reply a thing?
The child is in the process that grow, a lot of parents feel to the most indocile Yo is before school age, in parental eye, this age paragraph child very not obedient. Some moment parents say the child more, the child likes to go toward opposite way more, the parent " say to be not done more " , the child wants to do more, do not have method, the parent returns what must advise in earnest to say again, in was immersed in infinite loop.
Create this kind of appearance actually nothing more than the following 3 reasons:
1, suffer curiosity to drive
During the United States executes pussyfoot to make, the wine that blackmarket trades tastes a sale rising instead, jump over illicit thing to be able to tick off the curiosity that has people more, this is psychological go up " forbidden fruit effect " . To the child also be such, thing of illicit of parent public proclamation, can arouse a child's strong curiosity, often can put into practice will try.
Probably the child's original idea is not so strong, but of the parent prevent the curiosity that ignited him however again and again, to prohibiting of the thing thirsty let child second ground does not listen dissuade, act wilfully. Curiosity is added traitorous, so the parent just can say more invalid more, the thing that says the child is done more is more unusual.
2, cause the parent to pay close attention to
The person says " the child that can cry has a grandma to drink " , accordingly a lot of children also disdain to do poppet, love as a child however with " make evil spirit " , " do sth over and over again " means will draw parent attention. In the child's world, unfamiliar to still be being compared with bad idea, and " effective " it is the ultimate goal that they should achieve.
If they go to parental illicit thing,did, can draw parents' intense attention, even if be to blame, the child also can feel the target was reached. When " blame become another kind of attention " when, the parent should notice to look especially desolate the child, the child does these is in to issue what kind of signal.
3, order is sensitive period
The 1 child that arrives 4 years old is in order sensitive period in, they are having to the maintenance of order those who exceed an ordinary person is sensitive and hold to. They ask they are done so not only, also ask the person beside is obedient his " regular " consciousness. When seeing the parent washs the dress for instance, must come by her washing powder, which are although be scattered,, but she still wants to hold to.
Order is sensitive period the child often is affixed by the parent " stupid be ineffective " , " not obedient " label, it is the child actually puissant to a kind of inherent order safeguarded performance, the parent does not want to censure blindly, respect order feeling of the child however, undertake reforming on the foundation here or transfer.
Parents issues orders, the child not only turn a deaf ear to, still be done towards opposite way, the parent is helpless, emphasize prohibiting again and again the thing that the child goes doing, but child becomes hysterical however and obstinate, go intactly still according to oneself idea, in was immersed in dead loop. How to jump out to circulate, the following 6 action, parents can be drawn lessons from.
1, transfer exciter
Particularly small child, cognitive ability is limited, what judgement ability also did not develop is so good, still be harmful benignantly the concept that has not made clear over them. Have thing of some of illicit of parental public proclamation, for instance sugar, the child should see only want to take, this is very normal.
To small child child for, best method transfers exciter namely, do not let the child see, can avoid so or reduce the child to do illicit business greatly, also need not the parent talks more.
2, offer more alternatives
Only when the child one chooses when, it is very difficult that you let him abandon, be in " should " with " not " , he chooses " should " probability is huge. Contrary, if the parent can offer two at the same time or the choice of two above, ask the child " should which " , after he had own option, cooperate to spend the meeting is very tall.
3, the opportunity that shares to child
No matter be the child is being grabbed,scatter wash the dress to wash the dress, still emphasize oneself using chopstick, broach to have a meal, it is he remembers budding expression from the idea. Many parents for graph save trouble, flat prohibit these behavior of the child, monopolized almost everything the child's, criticise the child always grabs this to grab that however conversely.
The parent should create the opportunity that the child shares more, leave partial space to be finished to the child. He is done faultily probably, but affirmative meeting decreases " rebel " opportunity.
4, little use rhetorical question, negative sentence
To the child before school age, their logistic thinking still is not very perfect, parent use ask in reply, negative such sentence type, can let the child produce misunderstanding, consequently behavior also can appear deviation. For instance the parent says with the tone of rhetorical question: "Do you feel not to eat the meal to had slept? " the information that the child receives is however " did not have a meal, go sleeping directly " , abandoned bowl chopsticks to lay down then.
Parent of this kind of circumstance often is met aflame with passion, actually can need not, understanding level of the child is finite, the parent has some of overmeasure child. Parents wants in order to affirm sentence the requirement that means will come to put forward his, tell the child directly " should go what doing " , is not " do not go what doing " , simple palpability, the child is understood, also be willing naturally to cooperate.
5, let go let child " mad " bout
Some moment parents reminded 100 times, but the child or oily salt are not entered, zun Er listens right side is risked, that parent mights as well " abandon " child bout, let him child experience consequence, he instead can " recognize reality " , abandon resistance actively.
The son with red beautiful is very mischievous, everyday in the evening " persuade to sleep " the work is unusually hard. Have bout, beautiful is red flat make the child informal play, do not check he is mad, when tired sleep with respect to oneself. The child is very happy, played to just slept at 11 o'clock in the evening all the time. The following day the nursery school on him a day downhearted, feel very tired, after coming back say actively with mom " must sleep early later " , do exactly the opposite, the effect is occasionally outstanding.
6, the environment that builds fairness
In much children family, the parent must treat equally without discrimination, cannot treat to child distinction. If among them a child made poor parent do not have penalty, so other child also is met follow the lead of, build fair environment, decrease namely " bad example " action.
More than it is the child, to family also be such, if do not allow the child to play a mobile phone, look TV, much take candy, the parent also had better be accomplished at the same time, such ability are convincing, the child also is willing to cooperate more. The requirement of one-sided can arouse the child's larger traitorous action only.
If do not think waste one's breath, ground of the save labour when the province solves the child the phenomenon of intended oppose, above 6 kinds of methods, try to do.
I am candied mom, it is division of infant of an advanced Yo, also be the mom of 4 years old of darling, in Yo any problems that encounter in the process can ask me, hope my a bit proposal can help you solve the trouble in the process that bring child and quandary.
