Parents is the child allow teacher, also be the most important teacher.
In a person in growing, parents and family are acting important role.
Someone says, the problem of on child body 90% , it is the parent's problem actually. Return somebody to say, the 3 view of a person, it is the 3 view of a family; The advantage on a person and defect, it is the epitome of a family.Parents hopes the child can grow smoothly, but the words and deeds of a lot of parents has harm to the child, and oneself did not realize however. Parents does not know right-down to his mistake, but the harm that does not mean pair of children can decrease.
Failing parent often is not existence of a single issue, however the overlay of a series of wrong action, the behavior of parental mistake and language bring great scar to the child's psychology.
A psychology of about contemporary undergraduate the corresponding period mistreats experience and the research that the relation grows after scar, undertake investigating to 630 undergraduates, have the person of 0.5% only, did not encounter in children period psychology is mistreated.
The others hundred 99.5% be mistreated by the psychology of different level, incorporate is: Be threatened, negligence, derogate, interference and indulgent.
We are combed together today fail common characteristic of parents, will examine ourselves thereby, did as parents you pass a test,examination,etc. ?
1. is excessive monopolize
Everything what parental palm accuses and decide the child, the autonomy of privative child, the child what thing cannot oneself are done advocate. The explanation of adult is forever: What does children understand, this is good for you.
2. is excessive and anxious
the world " depict " clinking Jing Song, let the child live in horror, dare not experience different life, dare not explore sealed world, dare not meet new challenge, also dare not assume responsibility, maintain below parental shelter so called " smooth and steady " .
3. parents has undesirable hobby
Undesirable habit of parents is corrected hard, cannot establish popular trust before the child already, still can let the child also be infected with in be influenced by what one constantly sees and hears.
The 4. language harm to the child
The mouth when be being communicated with the child not choose character, the idea that does not care about the child and experience, scold, debase the child, little imagine " fine character a 3 winters are warm, person of evil language injury is cold in June " .
5. talks not count
The thing of promise not acknowledge a debt, big sell at a discount, termless perhaps protracted, parents says not count, ask very hard and count on child conversation count.
6. does not respect the child
Censure the child before the face of others, do not evade the child's privacy, do not respect the child's feeling, feeling, do not know safeguard child proper pride.
7. is good-tempered to child lack with understanding
The child is small still, thinking ability and force of body physical ability are immature, a lot of moment err, get into trouble original idea of far from child, but the child is couldn't get due good-tempered with understanding. Criticise the child lacks exploration spirit, very big reason is couldn't get because of failure namely good-tempered with understanding.
8. is in charge of assume, ill will guesses the child's motive
Want the child to err only, think the child is intended, child argue one's case is backchat, can suffer severe penalty, do not give the child explanatory chance.
9. parents often mutual blame
Adult is not known so that communicate, often mutual blame. Parental relation is the child's weather, harsh weather hampers the health of child body and mind grows not only, past contact can leave lifetime psychological shadow.
10. moral dishonourable
Adult is inobservant the society is communal and regular, bearing is uncivilized, verbal and coarse, love covet petty gain, parents is the child's example, child of bearing of words and deeds looks in the eye, have appearance play the ape.
Such parents, flatter oneself paid everything for the child, but, the child often is like person meaning very much however.
Courage is too small, do not have perseverance, do not have definite idea, do not have boldness, not feel grateful, do not know be thankful, not obedient, capricious...
The child is too recreant, the world crisis that feels to live because of him 4 bend over; The child does not have perseverance, be grow to never had experienced because of his hold to; The child does not have definite idea to do not have boldness, because he never makes his opportunity,be; The child not feel grateful, because parents is what the child does,be the child does not need truly; The child is not known be thankful, because parental " should pay " ,be, let the child feel " should get " ; The child is not obedient capricious, because his self-awareness is in,be arousal, but cannot find appropriate method to defy again; ..." of all " evil consequence, all by " evil because of " be caused by!
Not anxious censure the child, parents meditates first oneself.
Unreasonable " pays " and " sacrifice " , namely for nothing pay and sacrifice.
