Recently, the nothing is more... than of the most popular a word in parent group " the day is not afraid that the ground is not afraid of, be afraid that the child puts summer vacation " . Often mix at ordinary times the child " battle of wits fights brave " " old father " " old mother " , showed extraordinary executive strength at this moment: Had signed up for all sorts of grooming for child early class, summer camp, You Xuetuan, when getting along with child, always write down two criterion sincerely: Want to accompany idle away in seeking pleasure to promote feeling already, also want to maintain suitable space to be tired of each other in case.
However, those are ferial in the habit gives old person or baby-sitter aunt the child " swing palmar ark " people it is difficult that this fell to make really: Had a holiday, the child grew in domestic time, want to share family happiness with child, do not know the child likes what; Want to look for a topic and child to talk about confabulate, do not know this again from why to speak of.
During summer vacation, is parentage what again and again " encounter cold " ? Procrastinate at ordinary times quite come out " close affection empty anxiety " !
"Cloud pa Mom " small awkwardness: Do not know how to go vacationing together with the child
At present summer vacation has not passed half, elementary school Ms. Zhang already felt parent of one grade student " the body is drawn out empty " , this lets her can't help yearning for case at ordinary times " free " come.
Regard a branch as the director, ms. Zhang works at ordinary times very busy, since the daughter go to school, the Yo in the home important task is assumed by the husband mostly. Ferial in, her main job calls a daughter to get up early in the morning namely, supervise and urge she washs gargle, serve breakfast, check satchel, send her to go out next, reckoning in every item also with respect to half many hour. Wait for her the home is returned in night, the daughter already often entered dreamland.
Because realize,be opposite at ordinary times of the child pay too little, summer vacation arrives, ms. Zhang decides to accompany the child well, the mother love that cover fill a vacancy loses. But, every time when she thinks and the daughter chats a little well, the daughter shows a pair to object however, indifferent appearance. The eye looks at one antrum mother love to be in cool response of the child again and again " be rebuffed " , this lets Ms. Zhang especially lose: Original, between mother and daughter natural close feeling, also can be in daily scanty in leaving gradually abreaction, under accumulate over a long period, the child have to " close affection empty anxiety " .
The reporter investigates discovery, many parents encountered such awkwardness in summer vacation. They are duty field parents mostly, need to throw a large number of energy in the job at ordinary times, hard family of give attention to two or morethings, because of this daily Yo participate in degree not tall, make the task that great majority attends the child even by other in part or it is aunt of old person, baby-sitter etc do sth for sb. Though absent of their close office part is having the reason of have no alternative, can come as summer vacation, close child the time of coexist is much, ferial in " cloud pa Mom " people must return to true " parents " part, assume a more Yo responsibility. At that time, they just lose their head ground discovery, original, parents of 24 hours of on-line is bad to become, and be short of at ordinary times those who break is close child communication, more became the protective screen that communicates between they and child.
In a few education psychological expert looks, the child refuses and parents " lay one's heart bare " , because,be at ordinary times the attention that parents lacks pair of child affection requirement and feedback. Parents can ask in reply oneself: Be very few at ordinary times " listen attentively to seriously " the child's word? Does classics regular meeting break their word? Even if communicates with the child occasionally, often meet chat become " inquiry " , besides ask study, still ask study?
Generally speaking, kiss goodly child interact to often have 3 features: Dedicated, listen attentively to, open. Expert proposal, if the parent hopes at ordinary times " desolate " long already parentage gets warming up, can participate in in summer vacation close child swim, close child read wait for an activity, a few collective topics are created naturally with the child in mobile process.
A summer vacation, expose a partial home to grow the misunderstanding of pair of close office parts
Allegedly of summer vacation " all corners of the country " in, grasp in the parental hand that has experience have " secret book " -- " summer vacation swings child guide " , core idea is " groom the class is insufficient, interest class comes collect " . These two days, ms. Chen is in 2 treasure mom the friend encircles " bask in " gave two pieces of form: Cheng expresses the first piece of heat holiday that is one grade elder brother and little sister of nursery school middle shift, above tagging a football thickly, swim, the time of the curricular activity such as piano, brushwork; The 2nd Zhang Ming is " calendar of summer vacation of mother of old elders of a country or district " the Yo that form criterion enumerate gives husband and wife two days the task, every thing arrived accurately " minute " .
Look in Ms. Chen, because the work and rest of the child between last term compares the pattern, need the time that is in the school far the over time that is in the home, because of this husband and wife two at ordinary times main part more resembling is " accompany a reader " : Receive besides responsible weekday send the child to read, taking the child to be in each grooming even on the weekend move back and forth between class, interest class, than summer vacation for, yo the task is relatively easy, also compare save worry. Can arrive summer vacation, yo the task not only test is worn domestic financial capacity, more test is worn the energy of pa Mom -- should become father and mother not only, become logistics secretary, driver even assistant of bodyguard, family...
The reporter investigates discovery, a summer vacation, partial parent reveals the misunderstanding that gives pair of close duty roles. The Yo that some parents participate in at ordinary times link is not comprehensive, after summer vacation comes, the occurrence of multiple part kissing duty makes them some unaware; Still some of parent thought to sign up for a lot of grooming to the child class, already the free time that appropriate arranged the child, it is " good for the child " , did not perform real close duty role however actually.
Family of Chinese teenage research center teachs speak bluntly of chief expert Sun Yunxiao, instantly has a not little problem in domestic education, it is many parents the understanding of part of close to oneself office somewhat deviation. They think foster, the thing of breeding child is OK make use of sb at the person, actually parental responsibility, anybody cannot be replaced. Meanwhile, the family is taught also by gradually dissimilation is taught for education of a kind of knowledge, skill. "At hit the parents that go all out to be equal domestic education simply at signing up for all sorts of extracurricular classes to the child, groom class " , their flatter oneself performed duty, damaged parentage however actually. "What the family teachs is substaintial, it is education of a kind of life, the child needs most, the domestic activity that is a kind of normal family life and rich and colorful " .
Hua Dong Normal University continues to teach an institute to hire psychology of professor, children to teach expert Chen Mo to emphasize especially, parents regards the child as the main person that foster, to the child, namely " pedestrian island " , they can seek the propinquity of the body to parents instinctively, acquire solace and safe move from this. However, close affection also is need wholeheartedly of hold together, if parents always is used to the affection demand that ignores the child, perhaps be in Yo in long-term absent, can bring about " evasive model attaching concerns " form. "Grown child leaves in such atmosphere, heart actually very alone, in prospective affinity, they also can lack warmth. They also can lack warmth..
