A lot of children have similar experience: "No matter how are oneself done, the child of home of others of be not a patch on. " not be the child actually argumentative, do not know to be thankful, however because, between they and parents, on real significance close child communicate honest too little.
As parents, we are beyond question to love nature of the child, but be in with the child get along in the process, we overlooked the harm that those casual utterance bring to the child however. We are preaching equality of Yo child need, esteem is mixed all the time admit, but real operation is far insufficient however.
Parents' casual a few words cause psychology very likely to harm to the child, long-term before, the child is met more and more close oneself, lack communication with the parent.
After all what word can say to the child least of all?
1, the word of minatory child
"Wait for your father to come back, see him how clear away you! See him how clear away you!!
"You again such, I tell a teacher! I tell a teacher!!
"You are not obedient, father mother does not want you! Father mother does not want you!!
A lot of parents face indocile child, can be achieved with minatory word " uniform " purpose. Actually this is a kind of lazy education method, the act that faces the child to need to correct education does not have patient be good at teaching, the majesty that just attempts to use the parent will let the child " compliant " .
The surface looks the child by you " shake " lived, but if parents always such gally children, can let the child feel uneasiness and fear, arise with parents scanty from feeling, child of if things go on like this lacks safe sense easily, also go against the parentage with close education.
2, parental both sides is mutual bespatter
"It is your pa does not have skill, otherwise we also so won't poor "
"Of Suo of Suo of of of your Mom all day long, too bored. Too bored..
"If it were not for because I and your pa are early divorced. "If it were not for because I and your pa are early divorced..
The parents of conjugal love is best to the child love. To the child, father mother is the closest person, if you often blame other in part in the child, can let child heart produce cognitive disorder. After be brought up severely, return produce scared move easily to affinity, repellent even marriage.
The child is brought up in the domestic environment with parental good feeling as a child, those who got sufficient love is alimentary, such child heart will be more warm, have enjoy love and the ability that give love, just have healthy and good human relationship and affinity more likely.
Say less as far as possible to debase the word of other in part beside the child so, help other in part as far as possible talk even instead, make the child great understand pa Mom.
3, the word of negative child
"I see before you take an exam this to be not taken again 10. "I see before you take an exam this to be not taken again 10..
"Is this of your picture? A bit unlike. A bit unlike..
"Yourself is no good, get mom to help you. Get mom to help you..
Bear the child of too much blow can become timid and weak-willed, craven, lose courage and strong interest. The child is in study life to provide for oneself the period of ability, the parent is hit often, can weaken the interest of child learning, bring about provide for oneself ability is backward. In get along in the process, do not want frequent negative child, should encourage the child, progress to child opportunity.
4, if losing energy
"If it were not for you, mom can play this with the colleague together. Mom can play this with the colleague together..
"Teach a class early to give you the newspaper, mom's shoe did not want to buy. Mom's shoe did not want to buy..
"This month spent Xx money again, because,still not be you. Because,still not be you..
Complain the child can let the child think he is parental encumbrance, have owing feeling to parents, bear the child of such packages, easy dismay, pessimistic, manhood hind does him chicly hard.
Complain before the child, also can let the habit of responsibility of child nurturance shirk, devoid self-communion, progress hard.
5, everything loves to chatter
The nag is one kind repeats, exceeding language expresses kind, although it is reflected, is the mood that parental godchild heart cuts, but this kind so called " good for the child " it is however the child to a kind intolerable " painful " , let the child appear thereby a kind of resentment, become a cannot the chasm of exceed.
One part is talked about be used to the child, learn to turn a deaf ear to, no matter what adult says, do not have a bit reaction, this are dry dry. This has been inactive revolt of the child actually.
One part is talked about irritated child, the society follows adult to dry, you say more, I do not listen more, you should be gone to east, I slant westerly. Then adult is chased after chatter more happily at the back of child buttock, "This child, saying to still do not listen every day, if do not say, still did not return a day " .
Remember! Listen to child of father mother nagging without love.
6, if vying with others
"You see the Xiaoming of adjoining neighbour, period end was taken an examination of again the first. Period end was taken an examination of again the first..
"You see the granddaughter of king aunt, she crossed piano 10 class. She crossed piano 10 class..
"You see the son that mom works in the same place, readily fluent English. Readily fluent English..
Do father and mother seem to like to take the child to vie each other very much, compare result in one's childhood, than the school, got on a few to groom than the child class study class; Was brought up to compare the work, than salary. The child that is brought up in such families often self-abased, feel oneself are inferior to the child of others home everywhere, when anything crops up not self-confident, the thing that can accomplish obviously is done instead bad.
Each child is unique. It is us the hope oneself is excessive add note was in on the child's body, expect with what become the world group with live law, go urging the child grows. This kind vies bring about us to forget, respect the uniqueness with child individual life and uniqueness. Educational original intention, not be to satisfy the achievement feeling of adult, and should be to help every child become best oneself.
If you had become such father and mother, correct rapidly please! When facing the child, please gentle the ground is right. Help advance somebody's career well he, but should retain air of child stationary point, love to the child while, should have enough patience more. It is better to accompany him grown!
