? This piece by Fu only appoint Mr. Wang Hongmei answers volunteer of expert of interlocution of specially invite psychology, a Wang Hongmei of date psychology advisory division, welcome to pay close attention to.
The problem that sees you some indissoluble, are you to not be willing to be bothered by others? Be still willing to bother others? Do not spend just in time two respects that this is a problem, discuss together also compare single issue than making more significant.
The person that is not willing to be bothered by others has a lot of, for instance celebrity, become an officer.
I feel the angle that stands in them is understandable also, regard the public as the character, their natural resources is more substantial, and force is larger.
Perhaps they are not to be afraid that others is troublesome, however they fear more troubles are brought to them after others is troublesome. For instance somebody wants to pass those who become an officer to take shortcut, on on-the-job field make a meteoric rise. If,can be this individual aptitude flatly, what that lets become an officer is very embarrassed: Help him? Have violate fairness, bring controversy to still meet his, bring bad influence to be to the society as to the harm. Be helped? It seems that difficult however feelings... the person that has more resource is grasped to fear to be bothered by others in the hand so.
And to average person, also somebody fears to be bothered, because,be unaccustomed pay. Some people are done not have at all " pay " thinking. For instance by the children with bad be used to, it is parents is being paid for them, parents also does not seek their get one's own back or bear the blame for themselves, so they are done not have " pay " thinking.
Once had exposed to the sun to have 60 many years old to still be gnawed on the net old, exploit oneself the person of old mother of many years old 80, this kind of person, be to fear for certain is others troublesome? And really he also cannot help others it seems that what, because although he 60 much, that or " baby " .
And the circumstance that is not willing to bother others, inspect the degree that is not willing to also do not have with the circumstance different.
Average person is acted on " oneself him thing is done " , do not be willing others is picky, this is one the individual's accomplishment.
And the person that is not willing to bother others too, even ought others did the thing that people will come do to feel apprehensive, felt to owe others, heart of this kind of person was full of " oneself do not deserve " feeling.
The person that be not fostered as a child takes seriously, the child that is not loved most be afraid of troublesome others. Among the person call in that I had seen, had even " oneself do not deserve to be heard " degree. A person that call in says, the leader speaks with her she is nervous, always respond to a leader with the shortest sentence, because she feels the leader is informal nevertheless to her so ask, if the length of her answer, can take up leader more " listen " time, too troublesome others.
And this person that call in, because of weak and sick be cold-shouldered by mom, mom all day long does not say a word with her, nodded to the meal, carry the meal to her, throw her toward the bed until sleep. She wants to say with mom mom of a word is disrelished irritated.
After she is grown very be afraid of troublesome others, do not start to talk until the last moment the help that ask a person, if others conveniently helped her, she can think all the time how redound others.
Did a lot of times later after growing, ground of her ability calm accepts others help.
I cannot forget her calm ground says all the time: "I am very good, I am worth others to wait for me well, I treat no less than well other people is same! I treat no less than well other people is same!!
When she is saying this word, on the face glisten.
Yes, you are very good, it is good to yours to be worth others.
? Article copyright puts in him author 's charge, without allowing forbidden reprint, the person that violate investigates legal duty.
★ Fu only appoint association near future rolls out small tax of commonweal of the series on the line, once a week, the welcome listens, detailed ask sends illicit letter please or leave a message.
☆ Wang Hongmei, 2 class psychology refers the country master, academician of Chinese mental hygiene, expert of association of Chinese mental hygiene tells division reader. Be familiar with cure of psychoanalysis, family, narrative therapeutics. Be good at a domain: Spouse concern, parentage, human communicate.
