Be criticized by mom 17 years old of boys jump the bridge, how should present parent teach the child

On April 17 22 when, shanghai Lu Pu Daqiao, car of a white just stops, one big boy rushs to jump down trestle quickly from the car, whole journey is less than 5 seconds, after its mother tightens therewith, also did not hold the child, satisfy genuflect ground cry bitterly.

Original, the boy this year 17 years old, go up duty school 2 grade, because contradiction happens in school and classmate, the anger after be criticized by the mother and jump the bridge, the policeman discovered child remains in the greenbelt below the bridge later, and the child had done not have life style to ask for right now.

White hair person sends black hair the person's tragedy, when to just perform in the world, endure all kinds of hardships of a parents fostered big boy of 17 years, such definitely absolutely the choice jumps bridge commit suicide, the how much anguish that we never experience does this backside have after all? However, where is parents? Oneself raise big child to said to was not done not have personally, how is the half a lifetime after this lets parents vivid?

Climb as the in successive years of teenage suicide phenomenon litre, avoid this kind of phenomenon to also must make a person take seriously so rise, and what should think over most is our parenthood, in child student pressure, life pressure is all-time and rising today, the parent undertakes correctly educational education only, ability makes sure the child's body and mind is healthy, all in facing the life problems that just can protect bless child adamancy.

So, should domestic education be what kind of? What principle to follow?

Mr. Xiaoxu is in all the year round education of a gleam of, the parent with too much now discovery and teacher cannot communicate with the child at all, because heart door of the child is shut already, the parent and teacher start to talk, the child knows they want what to say, no more than is a few self-righteous general principle, no more than is a few override at child psychology to experience over censure and teach, the child suffers enough, so they do not communicate with the parent and teacher.

But, the child of disaccord parent and teacher communication, sure it is helpless, self-identity feeling of the heart, value feels and be being felt certain by esteem is extremely low, and if sense of this kind of low value encounters long-term setback again in the life, so extremely easy be operated by depressed, pessimistic mood place, below parents or the teacher's verbal and undeserved stimulation, the child can make ultra behavior come.

So, the family should become the backup force of child adamancy, the parent should accept the child momently, correct understanding child, have constantly only of effect undertake be communicationed goodly with the child, the pessimism on the bewilderment that parent ability helps the child walk out of the life truly and mood is acedia, ability encounters a problem to enter in the child save, is not push the child to deeper abyss.

Accordingly, if the parent and teacher want to make a friend with the child, let the child open one's mind, so be about to master communication principle:

Esteem just has credit, trustful ability has communication, some parents, when the child is explaining its cause and effect, the child just started to talk, the parent listens to no less than going to, refute immediately: "I know, this is your fault, how don't you think... " the language that censures so etc with respect to continuous firing tell came out, just think, since you do not believe the child, since need not listen to the child to explain narrate, know the fault that is the child, what does that still let the child say? The child does not say, can you solve a grievance in the heart and quandary how again?

Communicating one of the most important principles so is esteem, accredit. Select esteem, trustful child only, child ability speaks the true opinion in the heart, parent ability patience listens go down, ability has a common heart, go standing in child angle to analyse a problem, not exaggerated also do not mask, the truth ability that such analysises come out makes the child be convinced, ability helps the child grow.

Communication the 2nd big effective principle is to have a heart that be the same as manage, alleged " the heart that be the same as manage " understand the child namely, include the child, go feeling on the angle that tries to stand in the child with experience, admit the child first from affection.

For example, the child entered disaster, by school teacher criticism, be elbowed out by the classmate, right now the child's heart is alone, helpless, if the parent comes up to criticise with respect to ground of right on the face the child's action is wrong, express the disappointed feeling to the child, so the child is met more helpless, painful, feel to be abandoned by whole world place. And once this kind of mood is accumulated ceaselessly, the child faces a problem strongly very hard, can make negative sentiment accumulation comes down only, the mental health that affects the child and grow.

Be being communicated with child communication is to have a principle, also methodical. Mastered the change sense with particular methodological better talent only, better build the bridge that communicates effectively.

Husband grows him uncontrollable when oneself mood, ask the parent to learn to listen attentively to first, no matter the child speaks how ultra word to come, ask the parent all the time of keep one's hair on listen attentively to, do not comment on, do not censure, make a quiet bend auditor, it is the trustful move that establishs the child effectively and the efficient way that safety feels.

Now, a lot of parents listen not to get the child to say the word of a few rodomontade, the child one dehisce, as long as verbal and ultra, the parent with respect to fly into a rage, wish all bad idea strangle a child in the cradle, but you had thought, be in when the person in a fit of anger, it is to need to abreact, and a few ultra words speak out below mood out of control, be one of means that abreact, this can not become the parent to criticize the reason of child words and deeds.

So, the parent must learn to dominate his sentiment, learn to listen attentively to. Must put down figure, holding in the arms sympathize with a heart, the heart that be the same as manage goes patient audition the child abreacts inner dissatisfaction, this ability is to be defeated effectively guide psychology is undesirable the optimal way of the mood.

Pour out when the child, abreact oneself undesirable psychology, and right now the parent also did not censure him, so ability can install his mood to come down surely, his heart door leaf just can be opened wide to you, and just undertake likely between you and child next communicate. And you have a heart that be the same as manage when you, can do it from affection demand of the child, ability moves truly the child, and your life wisdom ability is accepted effectively by the child, just grow with directive child.

Arrive as a child big, the child can encounter countless problems, be him child occasionally is wrong, it is the fault of the other side occasionally, but no matter be what reason, when the child faces a problem, the heart is terrified, because the child is small when, cannot foretell at all sequential, cannot bear strongly more the consequence that the problem brings, accordingly, the parent should be the child timelily " block a gun " , ease the pressure on child body and mind thereby, those who let the child experience parents is powerful, find safe sense, also experience parental love and accredit at the same time, such children just are willing to say the problem that encounters in the life with the parent, be willing to listen to the parent's proposal, the parent also ability from go up at all directive child health grows.

Take Mr. Xiaoxu for, my son fights with one boy in the school once, by " evil person brings a lawsuit against first " , the teacher criticized him sharply, and be opposite of the son do not grant apologetically pay attention to, the son is very angry, bad also to teacher manner. Then the teacher informs the parent comes to the school handle this matter.

After I go to the school, what do above all is not to censure the child, it is the child however " block a gun " , apologize to the teacher for the child for a short while, admitting is he did not teach good child, bring a trouble to the teacher, ask a teacher to excuse, and the child gives please I will teach.

Get the child when me when the school gate, the child is crying to say to me: "Mom, I think your meeting beats me before the face of my teacher pause or criticize me and forcing I give a teacher the apology, thank your mom! Thank your mom!!

Actually, as the mother, I did the thing that I should do for the child only, and the child understands from now on however, allowing when to await me stand on a battlefront with him, it is the person of that proposal that can offer safe become reconciled to him at any time, the child heart that believes such education come out just has safe feeling most, also be the strongest volume.

When the child's mood is overexcited, the parent should learn cold treatment, should digest a heart adequately to the child the space of undesirable mood, do not want become acute contradiction, cause a heart break down.

A lot of control are about to compare strong parent, face problem child, oneself do not dominate a sentiment first, oneself stamp with fury first, mouth not choose character, this is extremely painful to a heart, or mood out of control, for the child of exceeding pessimism, as good as then add fuel to the flames.

All tragedy result from contradictory become acute, and contradiction once become acute, the business can grow toward the direction of out of control, this ability is the situation that we should prevent to appear.

Farewell head watchs the tragic event in this video, the car stops in the driveway directly in the center of, and the child opens the door the bridge jumps directly after rushing, believe mother and daughter undertook intense brawl certainly inside the car, it is the result with paradoxical become acute. Have pity on a so youthful life so parting, what stay to parents is all one's life painful.

Mr. Xiaoxu pays close attention to incident of teenage commit suicide all the time recently, see tragedy happening every time, the heart is touched by huge, distress, I hope parents can master a few methods that communicate communication with the child, principle and target, learning to do truly gentle, the father and mother that has wisdom, can become the child's friend truly, do the child bring passerby, side child goes compose is built more good, more broad life.