Author brief introduction:
Wei Zhizhong
Civilian alliance leaguer, chinese psychology learns psychology to serve committee member of orgnaization job committee, academician of Chinese mental hygiene, adviser of psychological superintend and director. Be engaged in psychology seeking advice to teach the job 18 years with psychology, publish psychological book 20, publish a paper many 70. Researcher of the visiting professor of much place college such as university of Chinese environmental protection, Guangzhou university, Wuhan university, specially invite waits. Ceng Xian hind is interviewed to report by about a hundred media such as window of People's Daily, south wind. Hold the position of Guangzhou city heart now principal of school of network of the psychology in chairman of association of lacy psychology volunteer, Weizhi, mound psychology of in relief city is met the post such as chairman, the psychological net school that its establish has 20 thousand much student.
Why one of 5 big questions that our society committed suicide to had become China now, annual suicidal number reachs 300 thousand person, during we are talking now, every dichotomy bell can have one individual suicide, these people do not like him, perhaps saying is to feel others does not like him, this matters with love, it is the heart with us in happy matter whether happily. In the pop chart that commits suicide in children, study pressure is overweight occupy the first, be loved early or still having is parental divorce, all because handle the issue of their method and behavior,these are. For this topic that commits suicide today so, so why should be they done so? Because he feels he himself does not have value, he feels is not loved.We will look, what is more terrible than dying?
In January 2018, jiangsu Nanchang a boy of 15 years old jump the building commits suicide, leave posthumous papers to weigh: ? Pretty with reed of bed of of stitch the sole to the upper of billows of Mou of Sun does of ǜ of second a kind of sedge make an appointment with pancreas of of damask Γ does duty of road of of ㄋ of of can of stand upright of of ㄋ of of a silk and coton fabric of billows of Mou of Sun of angry of archives of of K of Α of damask of defend Chinese toon send of ㄋ of of of end end Mao then?
In November 2017, girl of 10 years old of Jiangsu abundant county pesticide suicide is drunk in the home, stay posthumous papers and leave video, although say the reason that is oneself commits suicide on posthumous papers, but hope parents did not quarrel again. Ask an attention! What is she escaping? She is in evasive is external environment.
January 2017, a of Yunnan male county boy of 15 years old pesticide suicide is drunk in night of the New Year's Eve. The words of the deceased that he leaves is: Dying is his disengagement. He died father is glad, won't have what thing irritated he, explain whats his pa Mom says to him at ordinary times: "Without us people with respect to how how " , so what did this backside mirror?
We the angle from development psychology, character psychology, children psychology, perhaps look from the angle of idea of domestic education, society, culture etc, say for go cannot leaving a thing, grow in psychological development of the child and psychology in the center, we are accompanied to theirs, to their support, enough to their love? The answer is negative, be insufficient!
I wrote down 61 Children's Festivals that day a paragraph of word -- we let the child arise to feel without value, we let the child do not have self-confidence, we let the child do not have proud feeling, this needs us to think over. We do not say we learn this method that method, this reason that case study is so much, know so much, do not have how many good actually, it is very important that you let your child feel you have value.
September 2017, the son of deputy director general of bureau of Hong Kong education jumps the building commits suicide. He is a very outstanding child, hong Kong government also held water to prevent suicidal committee, have one large quantities of the child has a problem. We should ask ourselves a question above all, is my child happy? We must want to accomplish this.
We should make our child happy, no matter we have what difficulty, have what a painful topic, how spouse concern is bad, divorce even, even what reason, the result that is him even is bad, without giving thought to what reason, did you bring joy to him? Do you make him happy? We must want to go to this thinking.
Does my child like him? Is he satisfactory to oneself? Satisfactory, proud, interest is very important positive sentiment, without these things everything does not talk. All of us will ask his, does my child have fun at? He is right any the thing has fun at, enthusiastic, devoted, whether to have curiosity. Is my child valuable feeling? Does he feel qualified to have the praise of others? Does he feel he is qualified have? Is my child creative? He is good at thinking, what problem can be solved? If these doing not have, that is us entirely those who do is insufficient.
We do not say other, does our child have courage? He dare say: "This thing is my doing, I think so, also be so do, I am mixed namely you are different " . He if not dare? We need to think, why he not dare, why doesn't he have courage? Right incorrect? Our problem has come from 3 respects:
The first, the problem of expansibility.
The problem of development is the problem that in growing, encounters, his physiology, psychology develops certain level, he can have ego to agree with a problem, he begins to ponder over me is me, others is others, I am valuable in others heart, I am valuable in him heart? He has get used to a problem, have the problem of human association, can I get along with others? Doesn't others happy event like me? I am in others heart what kind of? With respect to what clean of meeting occurrence dawn says that I dare be not taken an examination of good, had taken an examination of can be bullied, this is the problem of expansibility.
These problems are not a problem originally, want us only well go accompanying him, treating him as is a very serious problem. If he had us to help him, e.g. : Get used to a problem, we are taking him to had suited, taking him to spend this difficulty together with him, is not to be apt to the child that looks for others to analyse me is sick, I should prove he is sick, my this appearance feels, I am not unqualified parents, be his itself has a problem. A lot of parents are doing such business, prove the child has a problem, have nothing to do with with oneself. A lot of teachers also are saying such problem, actually these problems are the problem of expansibility, very normal.
The 2nd, socially the sudden problem in the process.
Because the job of pa Mom is brought into play, child have to transfer, he is about and companionate people apart, mean a relation to lose apart, lose the affinity funeral lose that was before.
Pa Mom divorced, this is the forfeiture of the environment that a family loves; Father died, this is a forfeiture that loses close person. A toy cannot be found, this is one is lost, this is to grow in the center encounter. He is bullied to a school, class inside others does not like him, a run on a bank he, intended and desolate he, this is ride roughshod over; He was invaded by an uncle sex, or the gender was annoyed etc, these are socialization paroxysmal problem. We say the problem of a lot of expansibility, he does not know mother of a lot of father how to spend difficulty together with the child.
And the paroxysmal problem that the 2nd kind of socialization encounters, very much parents became confused god, e.g. : This child was invaded by the gender outside, return the mom in the home even one disaster after another, you still know to want to come back, you lose our face, as a result this child committed suicide. Uncle sex invades her to do not have the suicide, come back a word of mom, she committed suicide, be mom killed her or that hellion killed her? It is mom of course not be that rapist. Mom should sympathize with this your child at this moment, accompany her to be spent together, our child, don't we also know what thing she can encounter? So this kind problem is the processing that needs major, admit to be treated really.
The child that a mom says her already very serious, I say to her, you go at once, how does she say Mr. Wei does? School teacher lets me receive the child at once, why do I say then you are not received? The child that is you! She says I am thinking summer vacation to go. I say, so long, how did she have an accident to do? She says, but I am in,go to work! It is important to go to work is the child that still is you important? She still did not go to this parent. Do I say: ? Bay lot cuts bed locust ソ into parts deep and remote be contrary to ⒆ of confused Lu mirrors Mou to show? of of Se handsome those " I go to work busy, etc put summer vacation to receive her again. " it is important to go to work the child that still is you is important, there still is period of time from summer vacation now, does the child have an accident how to do? Such parent is too bad.
The 3rd, still having is the issue that undesirable domestic education makes.
Parental character diseased, excessive drinking, make force of person, family, as a result the child oneself produces a problem, harm of body and mind. The child that one each kills, because his father hits him every day, hit to finally does he say: ? Unplug also change He to make fun of Yi Shu of leech of Qiu of grey of Cui of knock of Se of temple of herd of of Qiao besmear to protect capture of Nai of neon of artful Nao of dainty to rip americium of Φ copy S to complain duty of セ sole to send rotten americium of Lu of the tip of a twig to complain セ to have enough " of garden of ⒍ ?
Everybody asks an attention, the first kind of problem is not terrible, child of our for company went too.
The 2nd kind of problem is not terrible also, give what business I go with respect to top Zhang, I am his dad, I am his woman, I need to help him solve namely. He is hit, get hurt! It is good that I should accompany him to spend.
So the problem says 1000 10 thousand with respect to this 3. The problem with the problem with the paroxysmal problem of development and parental diseased character, with some teachers psychology insalubrious the issue that makes. Because reason student of the teacher jumps,there is a case in front is the building committed suicide.
So what is settlement way? No matter you how, I can love you all the time.
We regard this word as as father mother the classics that should read aloud everyday, no matter the child how, you should love him. No matter you still had learned bad, I still am loving you. Although your study is bad, I regret somewhat, but I still am loving you. Only decorous this do not have a problem. No matter you encounter what difficulty,my metropolis supports you rear in you.
Unless your father is not done, the support that the metropolis that wants father to be able to be accomplished only goes to hard you. I must stand in your back and you to be faced together. You do not need to become me, it is good that you should become yourself. 70 time are born me, 90 time are born you, prospective world is different, I have to you expect, I also am waiting for you to be brought up slowly.
Ask an attention! Termless love, not be indulgent, should have a setting. When to sleep in the evening, how go to school by day, still want as usual to undertake, love and indulgent it is different, prospective world and my world is different, you are small now off year discipline does not need to be thankful, I wait so that reach, I when also wait so that reach in graveyard, till you are one that sensible day, I won't teach you to let you be thankful with compunctious law, I should not do that.
What kind of child do we want? I treat two my children to be done so namely. Because I know the person's lifetime loves and freedom is the most important, if he likes himself, if he feels he is valuable, meet after him of happy joy. The child that tells me no matter how, this can love father all one's life you, support you, you had been at ease. Such I also all the time doing, this is a result that I grow two this years.
Parents grows one half step, child happiness life one stride. Psychological net school is willing to grow together with you in Weizhi!
On September 1, 2018, term begins newly, our course is Trinitarian education completely, the course on the net is put in the classroom completely oneself go learning, everyday in the evening 8:00- - 10:0At 0 o'clock, the head that has every major coachs to everybody interactive, take credit, the working workshop superintend and director of the ground guides, self-study takes an exam, in the evening coach the forum that increases president time, the labour mill that still has the area is Trinitarian.
